Reuben, Reuben, I’ve been thinking
What a fine world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea.

Oh, my goodness, gracious, Rachel,
What a strange world this would be
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the northern sea.

Reuben, Reuben, I’ve been thinking
What a great life girls would lead
If they had no men about them
None to tease them, none to heed.

Rachel, Rachel, I’ve been thinking
Life would be so easy then
What a lovely world this would be
If you’d leave it to the men.

Reuben, Reuben, stop your teasing
If you’ve any love for me
I was only just a-fooling
As I thought, of course, you’d see.

Rachel, if you’ll not transport us
I will take you for my wife
And I’ll split with you my money
Every pay day of my life!